My stupid Xiaolin genderbend modern AU
by PercyJacksonOnCrack
Summary: This is a genderbend and a modern AU, as you can see from the title. Well, I don't know if it's really a modern au considering that Xiaolin is pretty modern. Whatever. There's no magic bullshit. It's also Raijack. Yuri warning. Don't like, don't read. I don't want shit for your bad decisions.
1. Chapter 1

I stare up at the giant mansion that is to become our new house for the next year or so, absently wondering if it has a basement and, if so, if it's big enough for my purposes. Out of the corner of my eye I see my mother, already with a glass of wine in her hand, already drunk even though it's only one PM, flirting with the moving men even though dad is nearby. He doesn't hear her, though. He never does. Or, if he does, he doesn't care. All he cares about is that damnable flip phone he's always buried in-

I sigh.  
This isn't the time to think about those things. Just keep thinking about the basement, Jack. Just keep your mind on the basement.  
Well, when I think of it it like that, it sounds creepy.

My cat Wuya, named after my creepy babysitter when I was seven. Oh, how I used to worship her. I had gotten Wuya the tabby cat a year after she had stopped babysitting me, and in my childhood naivete, I had named it after her. By the time I grew enough to realize that she was a scummy, thieving bitch who stole thousands of dollars from my parents, it had been several years, and it didn't feel right changing the thing's name.

She curled around my feet in a figure-eight, purring. I stroked my fingers down the length of her back slowly before picking her up.

Wuya continued her purring, nuzzling her cold nose into my cheek. I let out a small giggle and kissed the top of her furry head.

"Good girl." I muttered. "Let's get you inside." I glanced towards the sun, which was getting low in the sky. I definitely didn't want to lose Wuya in the dark.

Trying my best to ignore my mother's drunken chatter and my father's drivel to his business associates, I stalk inside of the mansion.


	2. Chapter 2

When I emerged from the basement, I quickly located a clock.  
7:20 in the morning.

I ran a hand over my eyes with a sigh, cursing the dark circles that would no doubt be deeper by tomorrow…. today. It had been 10:00, last I checked.  
I had been in the basement with Wuya for the past several hours, setting things up and repairing the small damages that had occurred from my building equipment being jostled around in a moving truck. At least, I thought Wuya was with me.  
That was actually the reason I had come upstairs. I couldn't find Wuya downstairs, so here I was, looking for her.

I searched extensively through the mansion, avoiding my parents room pointedly. It was slightly amusing to hear my father already awake, on his phone.

After a half-hour of looking, I still couldn't find her. Panic was starting to wrap around my stomach and squeeze my insides out of orbit like a cruel corset.

I strode to the front door, about to throw it open, when I looked back at my parents' room.

Oh, screw them.

I left without even leaving a note to explain where I was going, walking down the street. I shouted Wuya's name across the block, uncaring if the neighbours awoke and thought that their neighbor's crazy daughter was shouting Pagan-ritualistic words for the homeowner's association to hear.

As I got farther from my house with no sign of Wuya, my panic increased.  
"WUYA! WUYA, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?" I was practically screaming now.

I startled when a front door opened and a grumpy-looking girl trudged across the grass towards me.

"Why the fuck are you screeching at seven in the goddamn morning?"

This woman was freaking _tall_. I had to crane my neck up to meet her eyes.

Speaking of her eyes, they were a lovely shade of green.

 _Not now, gay thoughts!_ I chided myself. Now is not the time to be thinking of a strange girl's eyes!

Unfortunately, my gay thoughts listen to no man, and I couldn't help but notice that she was attractive in areas other than the eye department.

Her skin was tanned and a stark contrast to my almost-white pallor, and her hair was dark brown.

It took me a moment to remember that she had asked me a question.  
"I- uh- my cat." I said dumbly. The girl raised an eyebrow.  
"Your cat is the reason you're screaming ritualistic-sounding shit at the crack of dawn?" She grumped at me.

"It's… seven in the morning."  
"Like I said, crack of dawn."  
"Um, okay. And, no, I'm not performing a ritual or whatever. I'm trying to find my cat. I think she escaped my house. Speaking of my cat, have you seen a small, red Abyssinian? Around yea high-" I crouched down and put my hand near the ground before springing back to my feet. "Very red?"

"I'll ask."  
She turned back to the still-open door of her house, which was actually pretty large.  
" _Hēi húndàn! Nǐmen zhōng de rènhé rén kàn dào yī zhǐ māo ma?_ " She yelled in another language.  
A few moments passed, and someone yelled something back.

" _Méiyǒu?_ "

The girl sighed.

"Yeah, I think they found your cat. Do you wanna come inside and see?" She suddenly looked very awkward.

I smiled widely.

"Go inside of a stranger's house to find my missing cat at the 'crack of dawn' where nobody will hear me scream? Sure, sounds like a great idea!"

That earned a chuckle from the girl, and she turned and lead me inside of the house.  
It was quite dark inside, and my eyes had to adjust before I could see anything.

I was in what I assume is the living room. Everything was decorated in shades of dark brown, grey, and black. Even the walls were made of panels of dark what-I-guess-is-mahogany.

"Omi! Get out here!"

A girl slowly walked into the room. She was very, very short. She had short black hair that reached her chin. She was wearing red pajamas.  
Most importantly, she was holding Wuya.

"Wuya!" I exclaimed, the stress in my stomach turning into relief.

The girl looked sheepish.

" _Bàoqiàn._ " She said. I raised an eyebrow.  
"What?"  
"Oh, do you not understand Chinese?"  
"Not even a little bit. Sorry, little dude. Can I… can I have my cat?"  
"Of course!" The girl reached up to hand me Wuya. "She is a very good cat."  
"Yeah, I know." I scratched Wuya behind the ears. "Who's a good girl? You're a good girl." I baby talked her. "How did you find her?"  
"She was on our porch."

"Huh. Well, thanks for returning her."

"No problem."  
"Bye."  
I walked out of the house and jogged back home, holding Wuya tightly.


End file.
